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# dependencies (bun install)
node_modules
# output
out
dist
*.tgz
# code coverage
coverage
*.lcov
# logs
logs
_.log
report.[0-9]_.[0-9]_.[0-9]_.[0-9]_.json
# dotenv environment variable files
.env
.env.development.local
.env.test.local
.env.production.local
.env.local
# caches
.eslintcache
.cache
*.tsbuildinfo
# IntelliJ based IDEs
.idea
# Finder (MacOS) folder config
.DS_Store

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# worst_analytics_ever
To install dependencies:
```bash
bun install
```
To run:
```bash
bun run
```
This project was created using `bun init` in bun v1.2.13. [Bun](https://bun.sh) is a fast all-in-one JavaScript runtime.

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{
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"inflight": ["inflight@1.0.6", "", { "dependencies": { "once": "^1.3.0", "wrappy": "1" } }, "sha512-k92I/b08q4wvFscXCLvqfsHCrjrF7yiXsQuIVvVE7N82W3+aqpzuUdBbfhWcy/FZR3/4IgflMgKLOsvPDrGCJA=="],
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"path-to-regexp": ["path-to-regexp@8.3.0", "", {}, "sha512-7jdwVIRtsP8MYpdXSwOS0YdD0Du+qOoF/AEPIt88PcCFrZCzx41oxku1jD88hZBwbNUIEfpqvuhjFaMAqMTWnA=="],
"pend": ["pend@1.2.0", "", {}, "sha512-F3asv42UuXchdzt+xXqfW1OGlVBe+mxa2mqI0pg5yAHZPvFmY3Y6drSf/GQ1A86WgWEN9Kzh/WrgKa6iGcHXLg=="],
"prom-client": ["prom-client@15.1.3", "", { "dependencies": { "@opentelemetry/api": "^1.4.0", "tdigest": "^0.1.1" } }, "sha512-6ZiOBfCywsD4k1BN9IX0uZhF+tJkV8q8llP64G5Hajs4JOeVLPCwpPVcpXy3BwYiUGgyJzsJJQeOIv7+hDSq8g=="],
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"range-parser": ["range-parser@1.2.1", "", {}, "sha512-Hrgsx+orqoygnmhFbKaHE6c296J+HTAQXoxEF6gNupROmmGJRoyzfG3ccAveqCBrwr/2yxQ5BVd/GTl5agOwSg=="],
"raw-body": ["raw-body@3.0.1", "", { "dependencies": { "bytes": "3.1.2", "http-errors": "2.0.0", "iconv-lite": "0.7.0", "unpipe": "1.0.0" } }, "sha512-9G8cA+tuMS75+6G/TzW8OtLzmBDMo8p1JRxN5AZ+LAp8uxGA8V8GZm4GQ4/N5QNQEnLmg6SS7wyuSmbKepiKqA=="],
"rimraf": ["rimraf@2.7.1", "", { "dependencies": { "glob": "^7.1.3" }, "bin": { "rimraf": "./bin.js" } }, "sha512-uWjbaKIK3T1OSVptzX7Nl6PvQ3qAGtKEtVRjRuazjfL3Bx5eI409VZSqgND+4UNnmzLVdPj9FqFJNPqBZFve4w=="],
"router": ["router@2.2.0", "", { "dependencies": { "debug": "^4.4.0", "depd": "^2.0.0", "is-promise": "^4.0.0", "parseurl": "^1.3.3", "path-to-regexp": "^8.0.0" } }, "sha512-nLTrUKm2UyiL7rlhapu/Zl45FwNgkZGaCpZbIHajDYgwlJCOzLSk+cIPAnsEqV955GjILJnKbdQC1nVPz+gAYQ=="],
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"safer-buffer": ["safer-buffer@2.1.2", "", {}, "sha512-YZo3K82SD7Riyi0E1EQPojLz7kpepnSQI9IyPbHHg1XXXevb5dJI7tpyN2ADxGcQbHG7vcyRHk0cbwqcQriUtg=="],
"send": ["send@1.2.0", "", { "dependencies": { "debug": "^4.3.5", "encodeurl": "^2.0.0", "escape-html": "^1.0.3", "etag": "^1.8.1", "fresh": "^2.0.0", "http-errors": "^2.0.0", "mime-types": "^3.0.1", "ms": "^2.1.3", "on-finished": "^2.4.1", "range-parser": "^1.2.1", "statuses": "^2.0.1" } }, "sha512-uaW0WwXKpL9blXE2o0bRhoL2EGXIrZxQ2ZQ4mgcfoBxdFmQold+qWsD2jLrfZ0trjKL6vOw0j//eAwcALFjKSw=="],
"serve-static": ["serve-static@2.2.0", "", { "dependencies": { "encodeurl": "^2.0.0", "escape-html": "^1.0.3", "parseurl": "^1.3.3", "send": "^1.2.0" } }, "sha512-61g9pCh0Vnh7IutZjtLGGpTA355+OPn2TyDv/6ivP2h/AdAVX9azsoxmg2/M6nZeQZNYBEwIcsne1mJd9oQItQ=="],
"setprototypeof": ["setprototypeof@1.2.0", "", {}, "sha512-E5LDX7Wrp85Kil5bhZv46j8jOeboKq5JMmYM3gVGdGH8xFpPWXUMsNrlODCrkoxMEeNi/XZIwuRvY4XNwYMJpw=="],
"side-channel": ["side-channel@1.1.0", "", { "dependencies": { "es-errors": "^1.3.0", "object-inspect": "^1.13.3", "side-channel-list": "^1.0.0", "side-channel-map": "^1.0.1", "side-channel-weakmap": "^1.0.2" } }, "sha512-ZX99e6tRweoUXqR+VBrslhda51Nh5MTQwou5tnUDgbtyM0dBgmhEDtWGP/xbKn6hqfPRHujUNwz5fy/wbbhnpw=="],
"side-channel-list": ["side-channel-list@1.0.0", "", { "dependencies": { "es-errors": "^1.3.0", "object-inspect": "^1.13.3" } }, "sha512-FCLHtRD/gnpCiCHEiJLOwdmFP+wzCmDEkc9y7NsYxeF4u7Btsn1ZuwgwJGxImImHicJArLP4R0yX4c2KCrMrTA=="],
"side-channel-map": ["side-channel-map@1.0.1", "", { "dependencies": { "call-bound": "^1.0.2", "es-errors": "^1.3.0", "get-intrinsic": "^1.2.5", "object-inspect": "^1.13.3" } }, "sha512-VCjCNfgMsby3tTdo02nbjtM/ewra6jPHmpThenkTYh8pG9ucZ/1P8So4u4FGBek/BjpOVsDCMoLA/iuBKIFXRA=="],
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"source-map": ["source-map@0.6.1", "", {}, "sha512-UjgapumWlbMhkBgzT7Ykc5YXUT46F0iKu8SGXq0bcwP5dz/h0Plj6enJqjz1Zbq2l5WaqYnrVbwWOWMyF3F47g=="],
"sprintf-js": ["sprintf-js@1.1.2", "", {}, "sha512-VE0SOVEHCk7Qc8ulkWw3ntAzXuqf7S2lvwQaDLRnUeIEaKNQJzV6BwmLKhOqT61aGhfUMrXeaBk+oDGCzvhcug=="],
"statuses": ["statuses@2.0.2", "", {}, "sha512-DvEy55V3DB7uknRo+4iOGT5fP1slR8wQohVdknigZPMpMstaKJQWhwiYBACJE3Ul2pTnATihhBYnRhZQHGBiRw=="],
"supports-color": ["supports-color@7.2.0", "", { "dependencies": { "has-flag": "^4.0.0" } }, "sha512-qpCAvRl9stuOHveKsn7HncJRvv501qIacKzQlO/+Lwxc9+0q2wLyv4Dfvt80/DPn2pqOBsJdDiogXGR9+OvwRw=="],
"tdigest": ["tdigest@0.1.2", "", { "dependencies": { "bintrees": "1.0.2" } }, "sha512-+G0LLgjjo9BZX2MfdvPfH+MKLCrxlXSYec5DaPYP1fe6Iyhf0/fSmJ0bFiZ1F8BT6cGXl2LpltQptzjXKWEkKA=="],
"toidentifier": ["toidentifier@1.0.1", "", {}, "sha512-o5sSPKEkg/DIQNmH43V0/uerLrpzVedkUh8tGNvaeXpfpuwjKenlSox/2O/BTlZUtEe+JG7s5YhEz608PlAHRA=="],
"type-is": ["type-is@2.0.1", "", { "dependencies": { "content-type": "^1.0.5", "media-typer": "^1.1.0", "mime-types": "^3.0.0" } }, "sha512-OZs6gsjF4vMp32qrCbiVSkrFmXtG/AZhY3t0iAMrMBiAZyV9oALtXO8hsrHbMXF9x6L3grlFuwW2oAz7cav+Gw=="],
"typescript": ["typescript@5.9.3", "", { "bin": { "tsc": "bin/tsc", "tsserver": "bin/tsserver" } }, "sha512-jl1vZzPDinLr9eUt3J/t7V6FgNEw9QjvBPdysz9KfQDD41fQrC2Y4vKQdiaUpFT4bXlb1RHhLpp8wtm6M5TgSw=="],
"ua-is-frozen": ["ua-is-frozen@0.1.2", "", {}, "sha512-RwKDW2p3iyWn4UbaxpP2+VxwqXh0jpvdxsYpZ5j/MLLiQOfbsV5shpgQiw93+KMYQPcteeMQ289MaAFzs3G9pw=="],
"ua-parser-js": ["ua-parser-js@2.0.6", "", { "dependencies": { "detect-europe-js": "^0.1.2", "is-standalone-pwa": "^0.1.1", "ua-is-frozen": "^0.1.2" }, "bin": { "ua-parser-js": "script/cli.js" } }, "sha512-EmaxXfltJaDW75SokrY4/lXMrVyXomE/0FpIIqP2Ctic93gK7rlme55Cwkz8l3YZ6gqf94fCU7AnIkidd/KXPg=="],
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"undici-types": ["undici-types@7.16.0", "", {}, "sha512-Zz+aZWSj8LE6zoxD+xrjh4VfkIG8Ya6LvYkZqtUQGJPZjYl53ypCaUwWqo7eI0x66KBGeRo+mlBEkMSeSZ38Nw=="],
"unpipe": ["unpipe@1.0.0", "", {}, "sha512-pjy2bYhSsufwWlKwPc+l3cN7+wuJlK6uz0YdJEOlQDbl6jo/YlPi4mb8agUkVC8BF7V8NuzeyPNqRksA3hztKQ=="],
"vary": ["vary@1.1.2", "", {}, "sha512-BNGbWLfd0eUPabhkXUVm0j8uuvREyTh5ovRa/dyow/BqAbZJyC+5fU+IzQOzmAKzYqYRAISoRhdQr3eIZ/PXqg=="],
"wrappy": ["wrappy@1.0.2", "", {}, "sha512-l4Sp/DRseor9wL6EvV2+TuQn63dMkPjZ/sp9XkghTEbV9KlPS1xUsZ3u7/IQO4wxtcFB4bgpQPRcR3QCvezPcQ=="],
"yauzl": ["yauzl@2.10.0", "", { "dependencies": { "buffer-crc32": "~0.2.3", "fd-slicer": "~1.1.0" } }, "sha512-p4a9I6X6nu6IhoGmBqAcbJy1mlC4j27vEPZX9F4L4/vZT3Lyq1VkFHw/V/PUcB9Buo+DG3iHkT0x3Qya58zc3g=="],
"http-errors/statuses": ["statuses@2.0.1", "", {}, "sha512-RwNA9Z/7PrK06rYLIzFMlaF+l73iwpzsqRIFgbMLbTcLD6cOao82TaWefPXQvB2fOC4AjuYSEndS7N/mTCbkdQ=="],
"raw-body/iconv-lite": ["iconv-lite@0.7.0", "", { "dependencies": { "safer-buffer": ">= 2.1.2 < 3.0.0" } }, "sha512-cf6L2Ds3h57VVmkZe+Pn+5APsT7FpqJtEhhieDCvrE2MK5Qk9MyffgQyuxQTm6BChfeZNtcOLHp9IcWRVcIcBQ=="],
}
}

27
package.json Normal file
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@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
{
"name": "worst_analytics_ever",
"private": true,
"devDependencies": {
"@types/bun": "latest"
},
"peerDependencies": {
"typescript": "^5"
},
"scripts": {
"run": "bun run src/server.ts"
},
"dependencies": {
"@types/body-parser": "^1.19.6",
"@types/cors": "^2.8.19",
"@types/express": "^5.0.5",
"@types/geoip-lite": "^1.4.4",
"@types/uglify-js": "^3.17.5",
"body-parser": "^2.2.0",
"cors": "^2.8.5",
"express": "^5.1.0",
"geoip-lite": "^1.4.10",
"prom-client": "^15.1.3",
"ua-parser-js": "^2.0.6",
"uglify-js": "^3.19.3"
}
}

127
src/clientAnalytics.js Normal file
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@ -0,0 +1,127 @@
(() => {
const API = "some_misc_string"; // this is replaced when JS is requested, do not worry
const SITE = "some_site_string"; // same with this
console.log("fuckass_analytics v1 " + API + " on site " + SITE)
const SESSION_ID = crypto.randomUUID();
const USER_ID =
localStorage.getItem("analytics_uid") ||
(() => {
const id = crypto.randomUUID();
localStorage.setItem("analytics_uid", id);
return id;
})();
const common = {
userId: USER_ID,
sessionId: SESSION_ID,
site: SITE,
url: location.href,
title: document.title,
referrer: document.referrer || null,
lang: navigator.language,
tz: Intl.DateTimeFormat().resolvedOptions().timeZone,
screen: `${screen.width}x${screen.height}`,
ua: navigator.userAgent,
platform: navigator.platform,
};
const send = (type, data = {}) => {
(async () => {
const res = await fetch(API + "/some-cool-endpoint", {
method: "POST",
headers: { "Content-Type": "application/json" },
body: JSON.stringify({ type, t: Date.now(), ...common, ...data }),
keepalive: true,
});
console.log(res)
})();
};
const start = performance.now();
const urlParams = new URLSearchParams(location.search);
const utm = Object.fromEntries(
[...urlParams.entries()].filter(([k]) => k.startsWith("utm_"))
);
send("pageview", { utm });
let maxScroll = 0;
window.addEventListener("scroll", () => {
const percent =
(window.scrollY + window.innerHeight) / document.body.scrollHeight;
maxScroll = Math.max(maxScroll, percent);
});
document.addEventListener("click", (e) => {
const el = e.target.closest("button,a,input,[data-track]");
if (!el) return;
send("click", {
tag: el.tagName,
label:
el.getAttribute("data-track") ||
el.textContent?.trim()?.slice(0, 60) ||
el.id ||
el.getAttribute("href") ||
el.name ||
"",
path: location.pathname,
});
});
document.addEventListener("submit", (e) => {
const f = e.target;
const fields = [...f.elements]
.filter((x) => x.name)
.map((x) => x.name);
send("form_submit", { fields, path: location.pathname });
});
document.addEventListener(
"play",
(e) =>
send("media_play", { tag: e.target.tagName, src: e.target.currentSrc }),
true
);
document.addEventListener(
"pause",
(e) =>
send("media_pause", { tag: e.target.tagName, src: e.target.currentSrc }),
true
);
window.trackEvent = (name, props = {}) => send("custom", { name, ...props });
if ("PerformanceObserver" in window) {
const vitals = {};
const obs = (entryType, key) =>
new PerformanceObserver((list) => {
for (const entry of list.getEntries()) {
if (entryType === "layout-shift" && !entry.hadRecentInput) {
vitals.CLS = (vitals.CLS || 0) + entry.value;
} else if (entryType === "largest-contentful-paint") {
vitals.LCP = entry.renderTime || entry.loadTime;
} else if (entryType === "first-input") {
vitals.FID = entry.processingStart - entry.startTime;
}
}
}).observe({ type: entryType, buffered: true });
try {
obs("layout-shift");
obs("largest-contentful-paint");
obs("first-input");
} catch {}
window.addEventListener("beforeunload", () => {
if (Object.keys(vitals).length) send("web_vitals", vitals);
});
}
window.addEventListener("beforeunload", () => {
send("session_end", {
duration_ms: performance.now() - start,
scroll_depth: Math.round(maxScroll * 100),
});
})
})();

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import express, { type Request } from "express";
import bodyParser from "body-parser";
import geoip from "geoip-lite";
import {UAParser} from "ua-parser-js";
import client from "prom-client";
import cors from "cors";
import { readFileSync } from "node:fs";
import { minify } from "uglify-js";
const app = express();
const clientJS =
minify(readFileSync("src/clientAnalytics.js", "utf8")).code;
app.use(bodyParser.json({ limit: "512kb" }));
app.use(
cors()
);
app.options("*path", (req, res) => {
res.set("Access-Control-Allow-Origin", "*");
res.set("Access-Control-Allow-Methods", "GET,POST,OPTIONS");
res.set("Access-Control-Allow-Headers", "Content-Type");
res.sendStatus(204);
});
const register = new client.Registry();
client.collectDefaultMetrics({ register });
const eventCounter = new client.Counter({
name: "web_event_total",
help: "Aggregated event counts",
labelNames: ["site", "type", "country", "device", "browser", "os"],
});
const durationHist = new client.Histogram({
name: "web_session_duration_seconds",
help: "Session durations",
labelNames: ["site"],
buckets: [1, 5, 15, 30, 60, 120, 300, 600, 1800, 3600],
});
const scrollHist = new client.Histogram({
name: "web_scroll_depth_percent",
help: "Scroll depth percentages",
labelNames: ["site"],
buckets: [0, 25, 50, 75, 100],
});
const clsHist = new client.Histogram({
name: "web_vitals_cls",
help: "Cumulative Layout Shift",
labelNames: ["site"],
buckets: [0, 0.1, 0.25, 0.5, 1],
});
const lcpHist = new client.Histogram({
name: "web_vitals_lcp_seconds",
help: "Largest Contentful Paint (s)",
labelNames: ["site"],
buckets: [0.5, 1, 2.5, 4, 6, 10],
});
const fidHist = new client.Histogram({
name: "web_vitals_fid_ms",
help: "First Input Delay (ms)",
labelNames: ["site"],
buckets: [0, 10, 50, 100, 200, 500],
});
const outboundCounter = new client.Counter({
name: "web_outgoing_clicks_total",
help: "Outgoing link clicks by target domain",
labelNames: ["site", "target_domain"],
});
register.registerMetric(outboundCounter);
register.registerMetric(eventCounter);
register.registerMetric(durationHist);
register.registerMetric(scrollHist);
register.registerMetric(clsHist);
register.registerMetric(lcpHist);
register.registerMetric(fidHist);
function enrich(req: Request, uaString: string) {
let xfr = req.headers["x-forwarded-for"];
if (Array.isArray(xfr)) xfr = xfr.join(".");
const ip =
xfr?.split(",")[0] ||
req.socket.remoteAddress ||
"unknown";
const geo = geoip.lookup(ip);
const ua = new UAParser(uaString || "").getResult();
return {
country: geo?.country || process.env.FAKE_COUNTRY || "??",
device: ua.device.type || "desktop",
browser: ua.browser.name || "Unknown",
os: ua.os.name || "Unknown",
};
}
app.post("/some-cool-endpoint", (req, res) => {
const e = req.body;
console.log(e)
const { country, device, browser, os } = enrich(req, e.ua);
let site = e.site;
if(site === undefined) {
try {
site = new URL(e.url).hostname;
} catch (err) {
}
}
eventCounter.labels(site, e.type, country, device, browser, os).inc();
if (e.type === "click" && e.label) {
try {
const targetDomain = new URL(e.label).hostname;
outboundCounter.labels(site, targetDomain).inc();
} catch (err) {
}
}
if (e.type === "session_end" && e.duration_ms)
durationHist.labels(site).observe(e.duration_ms / 1000);
if (e.type === "session_end" && e.scroll_depth)
scrollHist.labels(site).observe(e.scroll_depth);
if (e.type === "web_vitals") {
if (e.CLS) clsHist.labels(site).observe(e.CLS);
if (e.LCP) lcpHist.labels(site).observe(e.LCP / 1000);
if (e.FID) fidHist.labels(site).observe(e.FID);
}
res.sendStatus(204);
});
app.get("/js", async (req, res) => {
const partial_url = req.protocol + "://" + req.get("host");
const url = new URL(partial_url + req.url);
const id = url.searchParams.get("site") || url.hostname;
res.set('Content-Type', 'text/javascript')
res.end(clientJS.replace(
"some_misc_string", partial_url
).replace("some_site_string", id)
)
})
app.get("/metrics", async (req, res) => {
let xfr = req.headers["x-forwarded-for"];
if (Array.isArray(xfr)) xfr = xfr.join(".");
const ip =
xfr?.split(",")[0] ||
req.socket.remoteAddress ||
"unknown";
if(process.env.DEBUG) console.log("metrics required by " + ip)
res.set("Content-Type", register.contentType);
res.end(await register.metrics());
});
const port = process.env.PORT || 8080;
app.listen(port, () =>
console.log(`Analytics collector running on http://localhost:${port}`)
);

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tsconfig.json Normal file
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{
"compilerOptions": {
// Environment setup & latest features
"lib": ["ESNext"],
"target": "ESNext",
"module": "ESNext",
"moduleDetection": "force",
"jsx": "react-jsx",
"allowJs": true,
// Bundler mode
"moduleResolution": "bundler",
"allowImportingTsExtensions": true,
"verbatimModuleSyntax": true,
"noEmit": true,
// Best practices
"strict": true,
"skipLibCheck": true,
"noFallthroughCasesInSwitch": true,
"noUncheckedIndexedAccess": true,
// Some stricter flags (disabled by default)
"noUnusedLocals": false,
"noUnusedParameters": false,
"noPropertyAccessFromIndexSignature": false
}
}