diff --git a/.zed/settings.json b/.zed/settings.json new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4259ffe --- /dev/null +++ b/.zed/settings.json @@ -0,0 +1,7 @@ +// Folder-specific settings +// +// For a full list of overridable settings, and general information on folder-specific settings, +// see the documentation: https://zed.dev/docs/configuring-zed#settings-files +{ + "format_on_save": "off" +} diff --git a/website/assets/binkies/katelyn.png b/website/assets/binkies/katelyn.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f9ff515 Binary files /dev/null and b/website/assets/binkies/katelyn.png differ diff --git a/website/blogs/programming-struggles.md b/website/blogs/programming-struggles.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..eb011eb --- /dev/null +++ b/website/blogs/programming-struggles.md @@ -0,0 +1,54 @@ +title = Struggles with mental health surrounding programming +time = 1760128114 +======================== + +I feel like I've never written about this nor ever talked about it, but I think I should. I've had this long standing issue within myself I can't call burnout. + +I'm talking about this here, because I think I'm not the only one experiencing it. Throughout my nearly a decade of development work, there's been multiple projects where I'm just too invested, and I start to fade between developing, and recovering from the mental stress of deadlines, and my own issues. + +I'm calling myself a always failing perfectionist. I'd love to get everything perfect the first try, but I almost never do. + +## Example 1 +There was this project, called Conquest. It was meant to be a MMORPG type-of-game in the web. I had a couple years (I think 6 around this time) of JS practice under my belt, and I had especially worked with HTML5 canvas around the time. I thought, hey, I'll just crank it out in less than a month and that's it. + +I gave the deadline to the creator of the game, that it'd only take a month. We started work on 23/06/2023. After massive commits that added every single feature in the game, every day pumping out 10+ commits. + +``` +2. All of this MUST be done by today. Or I'm going to take a long ass break because I want to play games instead of code rn but yk you gotta do what you gotta do fr +``` + +By 01/07/2023, the developers I asked to help me to work on the project gave up, and so did I. We continued work, obviously, but we mostly gave up. + +The last commit in the project was 21/08/23 (which was a yarn update). Nearly 2 months later, and nothing had been accomplished. + +### What did you do wrong? + +I rushed the project. I can't say I burned out. It never feels like burning out. After that roughly 2 weeks of complete attentiveness every second to a singular project, I gave up. I couldn't handle working on it anymore. I literally threw up multiple times when I saw the source-code again. + +## Example 2 +I currently work for a little known minecraft server known as ReconnectedCC. We make the minecraft server and maintain the dozen or so mods around it. + +I was hired originally to work on the porting of the server from 1.20.1 to 1.21.1. + +In minecraft terms, this is a massive undertaking. In 1.20.1 to 1.20.4, every single items, block and more definitions were changed. In 1.20.6, every single packet was changed. This is one of the hardest and most time consuming things you could do as a MC developer. + +As with conquest. I rushed the ever living fuck out of this project. I had the following mods to port: +- https://github.com/ReconnectedCC/sc-goodies +- https://github.com/ReconnectedCC/sc-library +- https://github.com/ReconnectedCC/sc-text +- https://github.com/ReconnectedCC/sc-peripherals (failed this, I think) + +From Oct 19, 2024, to Oct 27, 2024 the only thing I remember doing is working on sc-goodies & the surrounding mods (such as sc-text, sc-library). I think I had school around that time. Same as with conquest, I completely and fully devoted my time to a project I saw promise in. + +### What went wrong, again? +I seriously cannot touch any sc-related mod again. I don't know what happened, but I'm assuming it's the same thing as what happened to Conquest. I do not let myself work on code that hurt me. + +## Well.. why do you rush projects so much? +Programming is a escape for me. There's many things in my life which I cannot control, and which hurt me every day. A lot of stuff went down during many of my projects, for which the only thing I could think about doing was programming, programming, programming, so I could forget. It seemed to work for her then, but for her now, I don't think it's going to work for much longer. I also feel like this is a part of me being a shit-perfectionist, and not being able to take any criticism. + +## What about now? +I do not let myself become involved in projects anymore. I don't take team-leader viewpoints and don't really actively engage in things out of my scope. I currently work on a singular mod over at ReconnectedCC and sometimes help out with Rust code, cause I'm learning rust. + + +## Takeaways +I think the main thing I'd take away from this is, never let yourself `burn out/become too active` on projects you're passionate in. Never. You'll grow to hate the project you spent so much time working and curating. diff --git a/website/reader.html b/website/reader.html new file mode 100644 index 0000000..afbbe05 --- /dev/null +++ b/website/reader.html @@ -0,0 +1,159 @@ +__TEMPLATE_HEAD__ + + + + + + + diff --git a/website/scripts/binkies.ts b/website/scripts/binkies.ts index 96f2c37..5d86271 100644 --- a/website/scripts/binkies.ts +++ b/website/scripts/binkies.ts @@ -10,6 +10,8 @@ const binky = [ ["https://onz.ee", "shame.png"], ["https://moosyu.github.io", "moosyu.gif"], ["https://trademarkhell.net/", "tm.png"], + ["https://katelyn.moe", "katelyn.png"], + ["https://thinliquid.dev", "lqd.png"], ["https://joosh.nekoweb.org/", "joosh.gif"], ["https://ctrlaustin.nekoweb.org", "ctrlaustin.gif"], diff --git a/website/scripts/blog_post.tsx b/website/scripts/blog_post.tsx index cc70970..cccabde 100644 --- a/website/scripts/blog_post.tsx +++ b/website/scripts/blog_post.tsx @@ -21,8 +21,8 @@ export function BlogPost({ pageOpen }: { pageOpen: [Metadata | undefined, (z: Me { history.replaceState({}, "", location.pathname + "?md="); pageOpen[1](undefined); - }}>return back? -
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+ }}>return back?

+ Reader mode, click here! { (() => { @@ -32,4 +32,4 @@ export function BlogPost({ pageOpen }: { pageOpen: [Metadata | undefined, (z: Me } -} \ No newline at end of file +}